Two Prostitutes, One Sign

A couple young, entrepreneurial prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on the top of their car that read: “Two Prostitutes – $50.00.” A police officer, seeing the sign, pulled the ladies over and advised that they will have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Right about that time a minivan passed by with a sign on the side of it that read: “Jesus Saves.” “How come you don’t stop them?!” asked one of the girls. “Well, that’s a little different,” the officer replied… “their sign pertains to religion.”

The two ladies of the night pouted a bit, but they took their sign down and drove off peacefully. The following day the same police officer was running radar when he noticed the same two young ladies driving around with another sign on their car. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he flipped his lights on and began to catch up when he noticed the what the new sign read:

“Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter – $50.00.”

Redneck Warriors

The Blonde Painter

An ambitious young blonde woman, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type. She began, door to door, canvassing a wealthy neighborhood for work. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”

The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You’re finished already?” he asked.

“Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.” Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

“And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”

Corona's Make You Piss

Bra Shopping

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"

What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material.

"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what the types were.

The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"<

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."

Don't Jump!