Freak In Kitchen

Her car has been broken

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!
" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard," he says. She got in the back-seat by mistake."

Be Smart, Do It Slowly

A duck walks into a bar

A duck walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer".

The bartender says "Hey! where did you come from?"

The duck says "I'm working the construction site across the street".

And the bartender says, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?"

And the duck said "What would the circus want with a brick laying duck?"

Wii Wee

Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?

A Sunday school teacher asked her little

children, as they were on the way to church

service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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